free ricky williams!!!

April 26, 2006 at 12:42 pm | Posted in brian, football (american) | 7 Comments

if you only watched nfl live (which seems to be on everytime i turn on espn during the day) you’d think marijuana is worse than heroine, maybe even worse than murder. in other words, nfl live’s take on marijuana use is more hardlined than those goverment sponsored anti-drug commercials that try and link marijuana use to terrorism (which is so stupid; i mean the pot i buy is grown right here in utah).

ricky williams is this guy knows what i’m talking about’s favorite football player. there’s not even a close second. (mike vick may have constituted a distant second if it wasn’t for him spreading sti’s–you might be mike vick, but use a condom for god’s sake.) so when ricky williams fails another drug test which results in a year long suspension we get sad, but for more reasons than you think. we get sad not only because he won’t be playing all year (will football even be worth paying attention to?) but also because espn will have months of unfunny, unoriginal, and unfair jokes about ricky williams’ personal life. sean salisbury is the worst. he seems to hate ricky williams with such a passion. probably because ricky williams is a good football player while sean was a career backup. really sean can’t imagine someone loving something else more than football (except for maybe a great hand-job). this is funny because normal people (and normal football players) care about a lot of things more than football (and not just hand-jobs). sean usually prefaces his comments by saying that playing football is a privilege. privilege? it’s not like you accidently end up in the nfl–you get drafted because of all the hard work you put in. this would be a privilege: giving sean salisbury a hand-job while he breaks down fantasy football.

aaron has already shown that ricky’s recent failed drug test is due to his holistic training (in other words, it’s bullshit that he got suspended), but i want to take this one step further and defend ricky’s pot-smoking past.

who cares if ricky williams smokes pot? it seems like a safe and effective way to deal with his anxiety and his chronic pain (caused by football). why is smoking pot worthy of suspension, but domestic abuse is no big deal? in the nfl, you can get drunk and slap around your wife/girlfriend and still be a model player, but smoking pot exhibits a weak character. smoking pot is a victimless crime (unless you drive while you’re stoned).

finally, this failed drug test is bullshit. it’s obvious the nfl can’t handle ricky williams beard.

related: jamal lewis was set up by the heat and chris anderson should be reinstated into the nba.

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7 Comments »

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  1. where are the suspensions for steroids? lance armstrong gets to win like a million tour de france’s, but ricky williams gets suspended for using holistic medicine? what about how probably everyone uses steroids (except ricky)? what a joke.

  2. this post actually made me tear up. beautiful.

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  6. […] a g rating.  g?  i guess i haven’t been swearing enough.  and i haven’t made a hand job joke in over a […]

  7. […] about anderson’s suspension, but it turned out to only be one sentence at the end of this post. so i’ll need to provide some […]


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