serpent’s sport

June 27, 2006 at 8:16 pm | Posted in misc, pillowtalk | 1 Comment

intrigued?? I bet you are. i am willing to guess that you are all wondering what sport would be a serpent’s sport. I’ll answer that very question here:

yes my friends, it’s true. It’s recently been brought to my attention that golfing has very serpent-like qualities. according to Craig Stadler the game of golf can be easily morphed from a simple game to a predatory hunt. golfers are actually hunters hunting their way to the kill (ball dropping in the hole). i know, i know… there are many other lifeforms that are predatory in nature, but stay with me. I was also informed that when a golfer is preparing to swing h(er)is club to hit the golf ball they are actually coiling back and the downswing is the strike. clearly, in this “game” a hunter lays in anticipation of it’s kill by coiling up and when seeing it’s target, it strikes. what other species than snakes do that? you’d be hard pressed to find one. it’s obvious that the “game” of golf is actually a passtime that came to be when pagan beliefs were introduced to christianity. generally speaking people either love or hate golf, which is only explained by it’s history. pagans loved the serpent and held it in very high regards, while christianity imagines the serpent to be the symbol of evil. The fusion of these two beliefs into this one “game” only leaves the two options, love it or hate it.

don’t believe me about golfing actually being hunting? when you think of great golfers, who comes to mind? I bet you are thinking of Mr. Woods.
It’s only to be expected that he would be a phenominal golfer with a name like Tiger. Tigers are great hunters, so Tiger is a great golfer. It’s just his nature.

of course the recent trajedy that Tiger has experienced (the trajedy being that he has to drive an ugly buick lucerne for his tournament vehicle) has really hurt his hunt. But he still has his serpentlike desire to make the kill. i’m sure he will come out on top, eventually.

Anyways, i think that golf is one of the better sports, even though it has been somewhat raped by the mainstream sports media. some golfers wear rad clothes, some golfers have rockin hear-dos, and you get to act like a snake, how much better can it get? by the way, i’m pretty sure that golf is one more thing on the list of “things Lance Armstrong sucks at”.

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  1. i just like it when tiger does bad (like two weeks ago) because i don’t like him.

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