Imaginary football

September 1, 2006 at 3:52 pm | Posted in clif, football (american) | 1 Comment

I manage a fantasy football league and we recently held our draft. This is the story I posted at the league site. The Brother’s Wood asked me to post it here despite my protests that the only ones interested in it would be those who participate in the league. For the rest of you, it will seem senseless and tedious. Anyway, for those of you who haven’t participated in a (good) fantasy football league, this is what you’re missing out on.

The draft has come and gone without much of a hitch. I was worried, though. We started late, the site kept reloading, I was sure it would crash at any minute. As the draft got going, my apprehension built. I was drafting for two teams, you see, while making the picks for the computerless. I was a fidgity ball of nerves. Then, much to my relief, bluebeard’s beard–old reliable–drafted a defense with his third pick. This beacon of familiarity guided me to a state of profound calm, letting me know that everything would be just fine. And they were.

I was glad so many of you (eight, eventually) could make it to my folks’ place. We had a good time, we laughed, we joked and, I like to think we learned a little. I know I did. Here are five things I learned:

1. Even though I thought 4 of bluebeards’ first 5 picks were crazy, there may have been some method to his madness. He’s not super deep at any position, but he’s got good starters across the board and has great prospects for the future. This is his best team yet.
2. Your fantasy friends are a rollicking good time, but they’ll stab you in the back. After expressing my displeasure when mt heart attack grabbed Santonio Holmes in the 10th round, my dear brother, realizing my next choice for a rookie receiver was Greg Jennings, snaked him out from under me two picks later. I got him back in the 12th when I counselled him to avoid Jerry Porter then grabbed him with my next pick. In the 14th, I recommended to Aaron that he draft rookie TE Joe Klopfenstien, even helping him spell the name out in the player search. Two seats away, and two picks before, Ryan pulled the trigger before Aaron got the chance. That bastard.
3. Bribing Chad to put me at the start of the draft doesn’t pay. Fine. I didn’t bribe him, but I did get the first pick and used it on Reggie Bush. Exciting, sure, but my receivers took a major hit when I only got to pick one between the first overall pick and the 48th. Consequently, this may be my weakest team since I started this league.
4. A good draft doesn’t always equal a good team. I actually learned about this phenomenon last year. I thought I had the perfect team last year and would steamroll my way to the league title. Eventually, I snuck into the playoffs with a 6-7 record and was destroyed in the first round. The way I see it, since this draft was terrible, that pretty much makes me a shoe-in for a great year. Lock it up!
5. Aaron likes to sing along with the Beach Boys. And I like to listen.

That’s it. Feel free to share any draft lessons you learned. Also, don’t forget to vote in the new “best draft” poll. I may be inclined to bestow an “honor” on the winner if enough of you participate.

Here are the responses I got:

6. Laying off the beer doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a great draft. Oh sweet, sweet beer. I promise I’ll never neglect you again.

7. Those damn backups who get traded sure are awesome. Man, I’d love to have some awesome. I’m talking Ashley Lelie, Kevan Barlow, TJ Duckett. Get ’em while they’re not hot, folks. They’ll warm up later.


8. never overthink (or maybe over-think) the draft. while i was busy dafting gavin put in this lars von trier movie called manderlay. it turned out to be amazing (not only amazing but mindblowing or maybe mind-blowing]) so i couldn’t concentrate on the draft. this, i think, vastly improved my draft.
9. if you’re going to post message responses you should probably do so under your own name. but i just realized i’m logged in under aaron’s name and it seems like too much w[o]rk to switch it.

If this article didn’t pique your interest in fantasy sports–and I would certainly understand why–let me say that fantasy sports are an excellent way to learn about and gain interest in a sport. They give you a reason to pay attention to a sport, it’s players, and it’s rules. And as Brian’s last article (or, the explanatory post-article comment response[my interpretation of it, at least]) pointed out, gaining an understanding of a particular sport goes a long way towards appreciating it.


1 Comment »

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  1. my favorite points were #5 and #6. Nothing shouts fantasy(imaginary) louder than Aaron singing, and beer.

    great article.–>

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