looks like tennis season is over

November 24, 2006 at 1:45 pm | Posted in aaron d.w., tennis | 1 Comment

tennis elbowi have the worst case of tennis elbow that i’ve ever seen. as in, it’s the worst tennis elbow i’ve ever had. that’s a little misleading. i’ve seen other cases of tennis elbow that weren’t my own. as in, i know one person that has (had?) tennis elbow. except he called it jedi elbow because it got aggravated when we were playing this sweet star wars game where you’re a jedi and you have lightsaber battles with all your friends and enemies, like general grievous. his tennis elbow might be worse than mine. but i doubt it, even if jedi elbow sounds cooler than tennis elbow. here’s how bad mine is: i can’t shake hands with people without passing out; i can’t carry my cup of hot chocolate without getting cramps; i can’t get my keys out of my pocket without having an aneurysm (i get scared that i won’t be able to unlock my house and have a functioning brain and that i’ll have to choose between thinking and being locked outside to freeze. maybe before i die of frostbite, the cold rain will be like an ice pack for my elbow and then i’ll be able to get my keys right in time.) i thought that it (the tennis elbow, not the aneurysm) would go away if i just stayed away from tennis for like 2 weeks or something. so i tried it, but it got worse. some people suggested that it’s because i didn’t pickleballstop playing other racket sports like ping pong (actually a paddle), pickleball (also a paddle, but racket-size), badminton, racket-ball, and tennis. the other thing that the internet said i should do besides avoid tennis (and lightsabers) is to put ice on my elbow every day. but that requires more work than, say, trying to learn how to play tennis left-handed. so i chose the second option instead. except i actually decided to play badminton left-handed and not tennis. it was working fine until i re-injured this old roller-blading injury that i sustained at the age of 14. i jumped off a curb, fell down and threw (that’s a strange word choice) my shoulder out. it kept me from being the first chair french horn player for over a month. it was a hard road back to first chair, but that was back when i had determination. i trained and exercised until i could play french horn again. if it happened now, i’d probably just try to play french horn right-handed. anyways, when i was playing badminton i threw my left shoulder out. so now i think i really have to quit tennis since both of my arms don’t work. and probably other sports, too. but here’s the thing: pickleball is like the coolest sport i’ve ever played. i’ve only played once and it was totally worth the elbow aggravation. i sort of want to keep playing it even though it’ll be bad for my elbow. lego star warsbut on the other hand, if i don’t fix my tennis elbow, how will i get get good at the nintendo wii? i heard they’re creating this star wars game where you’re a jedi. so if i don’t give up tennis, i won’t be able to hone my natural jedi instincts and become the greatest jedi of this generation. maybe if my midi-chlorian count was higher, my tennis elbow would just cure itself. like as high as master yoda, or higher.

coincidentally, the regular world tennis season finished around the same time that i sustained my tennis-season-ending injury (and re-injury). the real tennis year was pretty sweet. and i really mean it. i mean, my favorite player, rafael nadal, lost to roger federer twice in a week and i still thought it was great.roger federer so i’d like to just come out and say that, even though he beat my favorite, federer deserves it because he played incredible this year. i really have to hand (which one? they’re both broken) it to him, he dominated virtually everyone (except for nadal a couple of times) and broke the record for money won in a season. he made it to 16 finals in tournaments, winning 12 of them. he hit unbelievable shots against everybody. just this last week during the masters cup, he beat james blake in straight sets. during the match he returned a number of shots that i thought were pretty unreturnable. but he didn’t just get them back over; he return winner’ed them. and he was doing it all year.

james blakeyou might be like, “big deal — james blake?” but then i’d remind you that he had neck surgery in 2004 and now he’s ranked #4 in the world. he beat the #3, the old #4, and the defending champion to make it to the finals in the masters cup. pretty good, i’d say. plus his beard almost looks awesome. i think he should grow it out a little more, personally, but it’s up to him i guess. what’s more serious, do you think, between a neck injury and a shoulder injury? i’m guessing shoulder.

andy roddickalso, it was good to see andy roddick get back into the top ten. like #6 or something, i think. but still, he had a rough year. after he and mandy moore broke up, his tennis game went totally downhill, but now that he’s either over her or they’re secretly back together, he’s finally playing great tennis again. everyone is saying that it’s jimmy connors. but connors isn’t even his coach. he’s just some guy that roddick talks to about tennis. it has to be the mandy moore thing. anyways, i’m excited to see him doing (and looking) so good.

the other thing great about tennis this year was that jjohn mcenroeohn mcenroe announced his return to the a(ssocation of)t(ennis)p(rofessionals). he teamed up with jonas bjorkman and won a doubles tournament that was held in san jose in february. then he and bjorkman played in another one in sweden in october. they didn’t win, but they made it to the quarterfinals. i like that he’s winning some matches and announcing others. take that, jerome bettis. he makes tennis commentating listenable. plus, he’s like morten andersen to the 10th. next year mcenroe will probably beat federer. then jimmy connors will really be crying his eyes out.

rafael nadalbut rafael nadal… he’s my favorite. even if he keeps losing to federer. i like when he wears his spain wristbands. i wonder if they sell them on ebay. more importantly, i wonder if they make spain colored tennis elbow braces. then people will think that i’m trying to be nadal and they won’t suspect that i have tennis elbow.

potpourri:is that a smell or a collection of things or maybe a collection of smells but sometimes it’s a category on the nintendo version jeopardy

November 23, 2006 at 1:45 pm | Posted in brian, football (soccer) | Leave a comment

bob costas is pleased to be back on the medium he started out on: radio. at least that’s what radio told me. and when i say radio told me i mean a commercial on the radio narrated by bob costas told me. after explaining how pleased he was to be back on the radio (and i wonder what exactly he meant by pleased–pleased as in it gives him pleasure, pleased that he’ll make a shitload of money for talking about nothing or pleased that he doesn’t have to comb his hair for work?), bob costas said how an unnamed we pondered over what to call his new radio show. before i drop the name (which, in this instance, is different from name-dropping), i want to ponder over who this unnamed we could include and wonder why bob costas would say this unnamed we pondered. bob costas is probably a part of this we, but who else? his producer? his barber? dan marino? espn radio? and what weren’t just thinking about a name but pondering. maybe ponder is a loaded word for me. i guess joseph smith pondered and that’s the main reason i was born in utah and possibly the main reason i was born at all. that’s something i should ponder about. i seriously doubt they (bob costas and whoever) pondered. the name they came up with? bob costas on the radio. is that a joke?

here’s the best goal i’ve seen this year:


don’t forget that chelsea was down 2-1 in extra time when he scored this goal. drogba scored the first goal.

speaking of drogba, there’s this guy on youtube who posts like every drogba goal. sometimes he compiles drogba highlights into a kind of drogba mixtape. that’s cool. but what’s cooler? the music he chooses for this drogba mixtape:


because pusher and malice are twins, i can never tell their verses apart. but they’re awesome. and don’t sleep on pharrell.

should the rubber band game count as a sport?

November 20, 2006 at 1:41 pm | Posted in brian, misc | Leave a comment

i think it should. it involves physical endurance, finesse, strength, quickness and strategy. plus it’s fun.

everybody who is anybody loves ping pong

November 17, 2006 at 1:24 pm | Posted in brian, ping pong | Leave a comment

table tennis, or what is onomatopoetically called ping pong, is like the best sport ever. well, technically soccer is the best sport, but it’s so hard to find enough people to play and when you find enough people to play you still have to find a ball, a place to play and shorts to play in and then it’s either too hot or too cold and even though you have so much fun playing–way funner than any ecstasy party i’ve been to and the ones i’ve been to are totally fun, you know, with like dancing and ouija boards and the rubber-band game and vest-jackets and banana chair surfing–you’re so sore the next day. so soccer is the best sport (especially 2 on 2 indoor soccer played on a racquetball court) but sometimes ping pong is even better.

but you don’t have to take my word for it:

(ok. i want to explain how i found these photos first. i thought the line was funny enough–you know, because we all watched reading rainbow growing up and pretend to like it now because we weren’t so depressed when we were kids but childhood wasn’t so great and neither was reading rainbow. maybe i was trying to be ironic, but that’s not any better. i mean, do i think i’m better because i don’t pretend to like reading rainbow? no. i’m still trying to define myself in terms of which products i consume[d] and which i didn’t. so scrap the reference.)

(but why wouldn’t i just erase the reference rather than writing about how i’m embarrassed i used it? i have a few ideas, but i don’t want to spend another paragraph over-analyzing everything i write. it’s not funny.)

(but if i did it enough times would it become funny?)

the internet is great. while watching parts of the patriots/colts game sunday night during commercials of prehistoric park i wondered if peyton manning is married. thanks to the internet i found the answer in less than ten minutes (or, more correctly, in less than or equal to ten minutes). he’s married, but i couldn’t find any pictures of the two of them. so i started looking for pictures of steve nash and his family. instead i found proof of how awesome ping pong is. (rebecca, feel free to use these pictures or even this entire post [or portions of it] on your blog because ping pong is always awesome.)

i may not have found pictures of nash and his girlfiend and/or kid(s), but i found this:
steve nash

but he’s not the only awesome athlete who loves ping pong. there’s ronnie brown, who looks like a killer doubles partner:
ronnie brown

sharapova plays in a dress which isn’t that weird considering that she plays tennis in a dress:
maria sharapova

andy roddick plays
andy roddick

against mandy moore
mandy moore

i think i could take mandy moore
but it’s not just bad actors who play. there’s humphrey bogart
humphrey bogart

audrey hepburn
audrey hepburn


and keanu reeves (who plays left-handed)
keanu reeves

i would love to play any of those people. i think i could take mandy moore, bogart, and keanu if we were both stoned when we played. but if i had access to a time/space machine, i’d travel back to cuba shortly after the revolution to play castro.
fidel castro

stoned or not, castro would beat me for sure. but it would be awesome.

if there’s anyone i wouldn’t want to play against, it would probably be mr. ed
mister ed

that horse’s forehand looks like it could kill someone.


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