did you hear how t.o.’s texts kept tony romas from overdosing on painkillers?

January 31, 2007 at 2:51 am | Posted in brian, fespn, football (american), tennis | 3 Comments

revisiting my predictions:

all the americans made early exits except for serena. but i wanted her to win. and the saints did lose, but it’s because i forgot what channeling zidane’s headbutting spirit would lead to. zidane headbutted that guy in the world cup because he didn’t know what was going on. he was on a billion painkillers (from his injury earlier in the game) and suffered from heat exhaustion. he headbutted on pure adrenalin, much the way the saints tried to play the nfc championship. zidane lost the world cup and the saints lost to the bears. it wasn’t that my prediction was wrong, it was just that i didn’t follow my own logic far enough. maybe i’m not a sports-predicting savant. that’s fine with me.

moving on:

here’s what i don’t get, the football season is over and everyone at espn can’t stop talking about how much they hate t.o. what’s the deal? nearly all the personalities over at espn are acting more like estranged lovers than football analysts when it comes to t.o. related stories. i understand that t.o. is a total hunk. just look at him when he’s doing sit-ups shirtless in his driveway. i also understand that having a lasting, meaningful relationship with t.o. must be difficult with his fragile self-esteem and depression problems. at least that’s what i’ve been told about myself since i also have depression problems which negatively impacts my self-esteem. so i think i get: those espn personalities want so badly to be with t.o. but it just too difficult with t.o.’s emotional problems. plus those espn personalities have t.o.-like egos. so the whole thing end in a messy break-up and bitterness. but come on, can you really hate on a guy this much simply because he stopped returning your text messages? let me give you a hint sean s, jaws, stuart scott, skip bayless and the rest of you, if you want to have t.o. return your text messages try seeming less desperate in your texts. and don’t text him sideways smiley faces. try this: “hey bro. congrats on a stellar season. next year you’ll win mvp and mvp of the super bowl. sorry about all those things i said about you on the air. i was pressured by the higher ups to really be ruthless. and i was hurt. if i’ve been unkind, i hope you can let it slide. much love.”

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sharapova v. roddick

January 30, 2007 at 7:06 am | Posted in aaron d.w., tennis | 8 Comments

while most people were watching the men’s and women’s finals in the australian open, i was waiting for the bigger matchup. who, between maria sharapova and andy roddick, would perform better in their respective press conferences. people keep thinking that sharapova and roddick are dating. even if they are (i really doubt it), maria should know that andy still loves mandy moore. but i admit that they have a lot in common. for instance, andy roddick lost in the semifinals of the australian open to roger federer, by which i mean that he got killed. federer won in straight sets (big surprise, every match was won in straight sets by federer who may not drop a set all year) and roddick didn’t stand a chance. similarly, maria sharapova got killed in the final of the australian open to serena williams. also in straight sets. while some people might say that it’s less embarrassing to lose to someone who’s been the world #1 player for almost 3 years (roger federer) than to someone who was unseeded and ranked #81 coming into the australian open (serena williams), the way serena played made her pretty unbeatable. i think that it would be pretty fair to compare how they handled the press conference after their huge losses. i’ll just give you the highlights. or you can read the full transcripts for roddick’s press conference or sharapova’s press conference.

andy roddick’s highlights:

andy roddickQ. What was it like for you just being there at the end of that?
ANDY RODDICK: It was frustrating. You know, it was miserable. It sucked. It was terrible. Besides that, it was fine.

Q. Can you just take us from 4‑All on. Up to 4‑4, you’re in the match. Then you got broken.
ANDY RODDICK: Yeah, I got broken. Then I got broken three more times. Then I got broken two more times in the third set. Then it was over 26 minutes later. Is that what you saw, too?

Q. Is he getting better? Is he getting progressively better?
ANDY RODDICK: I don’t know. I mean, better than what? You’ve been around the last three years, haven’t you?
Q. Yes.
ANDY RODDICK: So it’s been about the same.

Q. How much would you have paid in order not to come too this press conference tonight?
ANDY RODDICK: That’s about the best question that’s been asked. Well, I mean, I can’t really say an amount because I would have gotten fined, what, 20 grand. Obviously, it would have to be less than that, right, if we’re thinking logically? It really wouldn’t be about the money; it would be about running away and not facing it. I would pay a lot of money if everyone would just make up stuff that I said and pretend like I was actually here. That would be fine. My dad didn’t raise me to run away from it, so here I am.

Q. What did Jimmy say? Did you talk about that before the match, if Roger gets on a roll, try to do X, Y or Z, slow it down?
ANDY RODDICK: Yeah, there’s a lot of strategy talk. It’s not so much like, If you’re down 6‑4, 6‑0, 2‑0. We didn’t really talk about that. Oops.

Q. How would you write it if you had to write it?
ANDY RODDICK: Probably something similar to what you guys are going to do, I’m sure.

Q. Your performance here is better than on court.
ANDY RODDICK: No shit (laughter). If there were rankings for press conferences, I wouldn’t have to worry about dropping out of the top five, I hope.

Q. After a night like this, do you sleep well?
ANDY RODDICK: It depends on how much I drink tonight.

Q. Where are you going after this?
ANDY RODDICK: No idea actually.

and sharapova’s highlights:

maria sharapovaQ. Is it possible for you to explain what went wrong for you today?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Well, I think it started in the second game, you know, when I’m up 40‑15, you know, and I give her that game. From then on, you know, when she’s serving pretty big and pretty consistent, you know, it was tough to break her. So, uhm, you know, I think that was a key game in the first set. And, uhm, you know, I mean, she played some ‑‑ she played some good tennis. You know, we don’t really have a lot of long rallies. It was just, you know, about, you know, a good serve percentage, which I definitely did not have, you know, which I said was going to be important, and the return. I thought she just served too good today.

Q. Seems that you didn’t serve very well during the tournament, for the whole tournament. Is it a technical problem? Is it confidence? Is it physical?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: I don’t see why it has anything to do with confidence. I mean, it’s not ‑‑ it’s not fairly possible to serve well all the time. I think I served ‑‑ you know, I mean, I served well when I needed to in the right points. But when you, you know, against other opponents, when I was down a break, I was able to, you know, to get the break and find a way to get good serves in when I had to. And today I didn’t feel like I could get an opening, you know, to break her, even though I did have a couple of breakpoints.

Q. You said you can never underestimate her. But did you expect her to play so well today?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Of course. I mean, she’s won six matches here. I mean, there’s no reason why, you know, she’s not playing with confidence and she’s not playing well. I mean, to be in a final of a Grand Slam and to beat the ‑‑ to beat the pretty tough players, that takes a lot of good tennis. So you have to expect it.

Q. 4‑1 in the second, you looked like you pulled something out of your bag. Was that a piece of paper?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Yeah.
Q. Can I ask what it said?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Just a reminder.
Q. Of?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Of? Of what I’m going to buy in the grocery store. I mean, I’m playing a tennis match. It’s pretty easy ‑‑ pretty easy to understand that they’re notes about the match.

Q. I want to know if you think this is a matter of experience, since you’re getting used to talking on the microphone, or also because you felt you had to give something more to the crowd since the match was so‑so?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Thanks. You’re telling me my speech was a lot better than the match (smiling). Great, great! Wow, wow! All right. Uhm, no, you know, at that point ‑‑ you know, maybe you’re trying to make it up just naturally because you feel like, you know, you owe a few words to the crowd. No, uhm, I mean, I remember when I did my first ‑‑ when I had to do my first speech after I won a 10,000 or something in front of, I don’t know, like 90 people that showed up to watch the match. I was just thinking to myself, These people do ‑‑ don’t want to hear what I have to say. I remember being so embarrassed about it.

Q. Does she still have the best first serve in women’s tennis?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Uhm, I mean, I’ve played against her when her first serve wasn’t completely on, you know, when she’s had to rely on her second serves a lot. I mean, I think it’s consistently the biggest. I think on important points, you know, she still goes for the big serve. And a little has to do with confidence, as well. You know, when you step on a line and it’s, you know, a tough situation, I think it’s pretty gutsy to come up with a big serve. But it’s definitely her biggest weapon, I feel, yeah.

Q. Andy Roddick lost completely against Federer. He was handling the loss very nice. He said, Just go back to work, work hard. What kind of a lesson is that for you today?
MARIA SHARAPOVA: Yeah, of course. I mean, as much as I can be disappointed about losing a tennis match, I mean, I’ll be honest with you, I don’t like losing. I know you all know that. It’s not fun. You go back in the locker room, like, Darn it, I just lost. Someone is celebrating over there. They’re going to be opening a bottle of champagne.

i think andy roddick is for sure in the top 5 for press conferences. way better than shaq and that guy doesn’t even make any sense when he’s talking. from a scale of -5 to 5 i give roddick’s performance a 4.5 and i give a 1.5 to sharapova’s. so if they’re dating, it’s a big mistake because she’s not mandy moore enough for andy, and he’s way too funny for her to handle.

is this the hate blog?

January 29, 2007 at 11:44 pm | Posted in basketball, contributors, pillowtalk | 2 Comments

ok. i know this isn’t the hate blog, but i’m going to have to post a little hate here anyways. I hate sub-par college basketball games. I’m not into that strange voodoo language of math, so I’m not sure of the statistics. But after sitting through the BYU vs. Air Force basketball game last saturday, i decided that the players from those colleges need to study a little harder.

it was like watching an elementary school recess pick up game, everyone was selfish with the ball and only wanted to shoot the high and mighty 3 pointer. the idea of posting up and going for the easy lay-up for 2 points so their odds of scoring points goes up seemed foreign to them. yes… you do get that extremely coveted extra digit added onto your score if you get lucky and lob one up from the outer ring, but the odds aren’t in your favor!

things I did like about how college basketball is run:

1-) two 20 minute halves full of continuous play (except of course for the “media time-outs”).

2-) Austin Ainge plays for BYU, and seeing him play reminded me of the dinners I had with his parents Danny and Michelle Ainge. Danny Ainge played for the Celtics a million years ago with larry bird, and Michelle Ainge is hot. It was definately a place that the missionaries hoped to get to go for dinner appointments (they also had indoor batting cages).

are all college basketball games as boring as this one? Is this why the NBA is bringing in so many foreign players? because american kids only want to throw up the 3?

Do You Wanna Dance?

January 28, 2007 at 7:15 am | Posted in misc, whitney | Leave a comment

Remember going to dances? There is that awkward time period between about 14 and 16/17 where going to local dances on the weekends was basically your (or, mine at least) source of social activity. I can’t really place why standing with your hands on some stranger’s shoulders and shuffling back and forth seemed so appealing, but I have a suspicion that the main draw – for our little pubescent hearts – might have been the whole physical contact thing. I sort of get dancing…I can understand why someone works towards coordination (and even mutual coordination) and can derive some sort of satisfaction from that. But slowly waving back and forth to Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” might be a little silly.

Okay, so I’m no dancer. Lately I am just getting the hang of this thing called “rhythm” and I’m finally able to move my hands and feet simultaneously. So that’s cool. I’m also pretty good at the twist…like, I’m no John Travolta, but I’ve got the basic moves.

That said, Dance Factory for PS2 has got to be one of the best games ever. I know I’m a little behind on the whole DDR craze, so there’s nothing revolutionary about that statement, but I’ll tell you why Dance Factory is at least 113 times better: you get to choose your own music! So I can jump on little squares to the beat of The Marvelettes! It’s great! The number two reason this game is great is that you do it in the privacy of your own home. Meaning, you A) don’t really look very foolish since it’s only in front of your silly siblings and B) don’t risk the chance of a slow dance with the one nerd you really didn’t want to dance with – you wanted to dance with Rylan Bird! Dammit! Why doesn’t he love you??? – but your mom told you that you have to dance with every boy who gets up the courage to ask, so you have to make up some cruddy small talk while listening to some six minute U2 song, and you hate U2! So you get all the joy of a rare display of coordination, listening to music you like, and a little physical exertion. Awesome.

So…in summary: Dance Factory = Yes. Church supported functions = no.

i should be nadal’s tennis coach

January 25, 2007 at 3:23 am | Posted in aaron d.w., tennis | Leave a comment

there’s a few obstacles though:

  • he already has a coach named toni
  • his coach is his uncle
  • he’s already been #2 in the world for like 78 weeks
  • i’m not good at tennis and i don’t know how to coach it
  • i can’t even get rid of my own tennis elbow

some of those can be easily disregarded. i don’t have to fix other people’s tennis elbow, that’s what trainers are for, and i think you can just hire those. so i guess only one of those doesn’t matter. i still don’t know anything about coaching tennis and his uncle obviously does, so i don’t want to replace him. i want to be hired as a co-coach with toni nadal. let me tell rafael and toni what i could do for them as a coach. i could coach him during a match. what’s that? it’s illegal? B.F.D. i’ve devised a way to coach from the stands. first of all, nobody can know that i’m his coach. only him and toni. everyone will think that toni’s his only coach. so i’ll show up as a spectator at the game and i’ll hang out during the other matches and hold up signs and stuff. but the signs have phone numbers on them. i’ll keep holding up phone numbers during the early matches and whenever the camera zooms in on my i’ll make the “call me” signal with my hand. i’ll even mouth “call me” to the camera. the trick is that the first 2 numbers of the telephone number will be code for nadal. everyone will think that i’m just nuts. but i’ll be coaching nadal from the stands. toni can call the shots to me via telepathy (or technology) and i’ll relay the message using our phone number system.

i came up with this in a dream. that’s a lie. i actually came up with it during the clijsters-hingis match last night. i wanted hingis to win, but she didn’t. and i saw her coach yell something and the announcers were like, “what was that about?” but if i was in the stands holding up signs with phone numbers, they’d just be like, “who is that idiot in the stands?” they wouldn’t even think that i was coaching her. i thought i would try to be hingis’ coach, nadal v. gonzalezbut then i got online this morning and read about how rafael nadal lost last night. i should’ve stayed up to watch it. then at least i could’ve tried to relay messages to nadal via telepathy (or technology) and maybe he could’ve pulled out the win. brian called it, too. he said that the chilean, fernando gonzalez, who beat james blake and now nadal, was pretty awesome. gonzalez was the 10th seed coming into the australian open and he beat nadal in 3 straight sets. when i read that, i decided that rafael and toni nadal need my help. they need secret coaching. one of the codes will be: 26 = “your capris look cool.” i’ll probably hold that one up the most.

i’m planning on staying up to watch roddick v. federer tonight. it starts at 12:30a pacific time. that’s late and i have to teach at 9:00a, but i have to start figuring out what kinds of messages need secret relaying. so it’ll be worth it. i can quit math and teaching and make millions as an undercover coach. plus i can just go to tennis matches all year long. toni and rafael will have to pay my way inside to other matches so that no one catches on. well, i won’t really make millions, but they’ll take care of me and i’ll be able to hang out with nadal in spain in between tournaments, so who needs millions? plus, free tennis matches year-round. if you’re reading this, rafael, email me and we’ll set it up.

VCR quarterback: winner of 33 emmys

January 23, 2007 at 7:43 am | Posted in aaron d.w., fespn, football (american) | 3 Comments

when you go to watch sportscenter (i don’t know why i ever do, but i do) the description given (if you hit the info button) is that sportscenter is a “hip, emmy-winning daily scrapbook of homers, touchdowns, and slam-dunks, the perfect clips-and-controversies fix for sports junkies.” if you don’t believe me, go to the tv-guide webpage (i don’t know why you’d want to, i didn’t want to go there even to get the link). i want to talk about their tagline. it might be better than our tagline (that isn’t even visible unless you’re a contributor and you click on “options”) — “this is for sports fans, but only for sports fans who hate the way professional sports are packaged” — except that brian isn’t claiming that we’re hip at all. or a scrapbook. i thought brian stole the tagline from dave zirin’s myspace page, but he didn’t. i looked and it’s not even close to anything dave zirin says. anyways, back to their tagline. i think part of it is pretty accurate. they do show more dunks, homers, and touchdowns than any other highlights. their top ten is mostly dunks during basketball season and mostly homers during baseball season. so i am glad that they’re being honest about how they “report” their sports. don’t look for deep analysis, but if you want to see the best dunk of the day, tune in. they like clips and they love controversy. i think they should have ordered that differently. they love controversy way more than clips. when something controversial is happening they forego all coverage of any sporting event to give you updates on the gossip. oh yeah, and they’re hip. obviously. just look at stuart scott and his hip glasses. remember when he’s wearing his $5,000 suit and running “routes” on their fake football field to illustrate how tony romo (i call him tony roma’s) can dissect a defense? that’s hip. seriously. i didn’t know what hip was for a long time, but it’s stuart scott. speaking of tony roma’s, i wish i could’ve seen sean salisbury break down his botched hold on that field goal. unfortunately, there was probably some controversy that kept them from showing it. like mike vick’s water bottle that didn’t have anything in it after all.

but that’s not what this article is about. this article is about how sportscenter won an emmy. not for being hip. if that were the case, it would be a redundant tagline. they won for something else.

big deal. VCR quarterback, the board game, won 33 emmys. i was trying to figure out what it won for. i thought maybe best video to accompany a board game. but i couldn’t think of 33 different ways of saying that. then i thought maybe it won 33 years in a row. but then i got on wikipedia to find out that the sports emmys have been around for 27 years. plus VCR quarterback came out in like 1986 or something, so 21 of those happened after it won all the emmys. plus i don’t think you can win the same award without re-releasing the game. so it had to have won all the awards in the same year. but there’s only 29 categories in the sports emmys. and 1 of those was just barely conceived this year. i guess that means that VCR quarterback is pretty sweet. to be able to win 33 out of 28 emmys is impressive. way more impressive that 1 out of 33. so VCR quarterback is better than sportscenter. not hipper, but more emmy-winning. which isn’t surprising. check out some pictures of this game:
winner of 33 emmyswinner of 33 emmys

i wouldn’t take the job even if they offered it to me

January 20, 2007 at 2:01 am | Posted in brian, football (american), tennis | Leave a comment

these predictions can go to your head.  with my spurious reasoning, i nailed three out of the four games i predicted last week.  and it’s not like i was that wrong in  the game i picked wrong–if that charger defender (i’m too lazy to find what his name was, but i’ll guess kiel) hadn’t fumbled after he intercepted brady i’d be four for four (or 444).  i pick(ed) ’em better than any of those idiots who cover football for espn, fox or the other network that has football games (cbs?).  i also pick(ed) ’em better than chris berman or tom jackson who aren’t necessarily idiots.  (but it’s not like i want to marry them or even hang out.  i’d go to dinner with either or both of them provided they are the ones fronting the bill and they don’t expect any sort of after-dinner activity.)  after wasting all these so-called professionals i asked myself, “well, why am i not working as a football analyst for one of the major sporting networks?  it obviously take little to no talent, which i have, and my picks are statistically shown to be better than theirs.”  but then i remember everything going against me.  like i don’t own a tailored suit and i don’t have the right haircut.  more importantly i wasn’t a mediocre (ron jaworski, sean salisbury, chris collinsworth, boomer esiason) and/or overrated (howie long, shannon sharpe, dan marino, micheal irvin) former football player who needs to compensate for my unremarkable playing days or try and milk my over-hyped football past.  so i’m only qualified to continue to write for this blog and keeping making my amazing predictions.

i predict that all the americans will make an early exit from this year’s australian open.  except for serena williams who rocked the shit yesterday.  but don’t look forward to any roddick/federer championship this open.  and obviously federer will win it all.

and i won’t even acknowledge the afc because i think this year’s playoffs are rigged (a patriots/colts championship game again?), but i’m thinking the saints will beat the bears not because of rex grossman or reggie bush but because the saints’ logo is french (i think) and being french they’ll channel zidane’s spirit and head-butt their way to the superbowl.

The Saints bring hope to millions plus one

January 20, 2007 at 1:08 am | Posted in clif, football (american) | 4 Comments

I don’t really care about the millions though.

Well, let me clarify.  I care about their plight; what all those people went through, losing their homes, starving and dying and how the government didn’t do anything before, during or after the hurricane to help them.  What I don’t care about is how the Saints (in their sporting capacity) have helped raise their spirits.  Let’s face it, this is a story manufactured and disseminated by the media.  While I’m sure the people of New Orleans are excited about the success of their local football team, I’d be surprised if the fervor there is measurably greater than it is in Chicago, Indianapolis or Massachusetts.  And if the latter three are less ecstatic, it’s due to the been-there-done-that factor, not the just-been-through-a-natural-disaster factor.

 But the Saints have brought some real hope to one I care about.  Me. 

I grew up with an older brother that was like most older brothers, I suppose.  He’s smarter, funnier, better looking, better in social situations, better at pretty much everything than I am.  Plus, he’d pick on me sometimes and I was younger and weaker so all I could do was get in the classic younger brother defense, getting on the sofa and sticking my arms and legs in the air to ward him off.  You know, the defense that never actually works.  I once threw a role of wallpaper at him, but he ducked and the roll went through the wall which I got grounded for.  What a jerk, right?  By the time I out-grew him, he had stopped teasing me and we were pretty close friends.

So what do the Saints have to do with all this?  You see, I never got a chance to pay my brother back for all the humiliation he heaped on me in our youth.  But, I’m a Saints fan and he’s a Patriots fan so his comeuppance is ever so close.   If the two teams can win on Sunday and the Saints can best the Pats in the Super Bowl, years of injustices will be undone.  I’ll finally be able to rub it in his face that I’m better than him at something: I’ll be better at being a fan of the reigning Super Bowl Champs.   It’s not much, but it’s a start.  Plus, if I keep my face rubbing internal, I can be better at pretending to be a good sport.  It’s a two-for-one bargain.

I think there’s a pretty good chance of this happening, too.  The Bears have been prone to self-destruction this year and the Saints have been playing well enough to take advantage of that.  In the other game, as I said in my last post, as long as Bill Belichick continues wearing cutoff hoodies, I’ll keep picking  the Patriots to win.  This week in Indianapolis’ dome, he’ll cut the sleeves off even higher and cruise to an easy victory. 

What timing!  My brother just sent this:

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died.  When he got to heaven God was showing him around.

They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window.  “This is your house for eternity Peyton” said God.  “This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here.”

Peyton felt special indeed, until he noticed another house just around the corner.  It was a three story mansion with a silver and blue sidewalk, a fifty foot tall flagpole with an enormous Patriot’s flag, and in every window a New England Patriots towel.

Peyton looked at God and said “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful but I have a question.  I was an all pro QB, I hold many NFL records, I even went to the Hall of Fame.” 

God said “So what’s your question Peyton?”

“Well, Why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?”

God chuckled and said, “Peyton, that’s not Brady’s house, it’s Mine!”

Next week, after the Saints and Patriots win, I’m going to send this joke right back to him, replacing Manning with Brady and turning God into a Saints fan.  That’ll show him.

Should I give up on Drew Brees ever washing that mud off his face?

January 19, 2007 at 8:02 am | Posted in football (american), lee | 7 Comments

Seriously.

Colin Cowherd is my favorite sports personality. I won’t deny that the American Idol (AI) rants are unnecessary and perhaps inexcusable, but even those entertain me more than some local douche talking about witch supermodel he’d most like to spread his seed with. I heard one of the rants yesterday, and I’m not positive that he wasn’t making fun of it while plugging it. I’m also not certain that he wasn’t just plugging it and he loves the show. Know what I am certain of? That American Idol (AI) is dumb (I refuse to waste better adjectives). I’m in my fourth year of boycotting it. Well, my fourth full year. And it isn’t just because Kelly Clarkson is MY American Idol (AI) and the only American Idol (AI) that I’ll ever need, though that is definitely part of my hate equation. It is because I hate everything about the show, from the stupid outtakes, if you will, at the beginning of the show that are obviously faked by people who think it would be funny to look idiotic on an idiotic show, to Simon Cowell thinking he knows stuff about stuff, to Ryan Seacrest saying, “Seacrest: out!” at the end of every show (I’ve never actually heard him say this, one of my sister’s old boyfriends told me about it). Imagine Ryan Seacrest’s resume when he has to find a job after everyone figures out that shows like American Idol (AI) are lame and should be cancelled and shows like Freaks and Geeks are great and should last more than one season. I’m trying to imagine it right now. Are you? I also boycott Wendy’s.

I am picking the Saints and Colts in the Super Bowl because I like both teams better than who they are playing, because it would be the best Super Bowl , and because I think they are the teams that will win.

Why does everyone hate Peyton Manning so much? Is it because he comes from a family good enough to have three NFL quarterbacks? Is it because he makes funnier commercials than any other athlete? Is it because he is one of the best NFL quarterbacks of all-time, despite playing during an era when teams are infatuated with quarterbacks who have the ability to run with the ball?

I used to hate Peyton Manning too. I wanted Ryan Leaf to be better than him. I was glad that Tennessee won a national championship the year after he left (even though I hate Tennessee). Then, in 2001 or something, I heard an interview with Archie Manning where most of the time he made fun of Peyton. Then I heard/saw/read things from Peyton Manning that I thought were funny. I started paying more attention to his game and less to his what I previously thought about him and I realized that I love watching him play. I like how he calls plays from the line of scrimmage instead of having the offensive coordinator do it from the booth. I love watching him do things like go up against Baltimore’s defense last weekend. Little by little, he chipped away at them, realizing that he probably couldn’t get 300 yards and four touchdown passes. I also like how he calls out Andy Nesbitt every chance he gets.

I also have a soft spot for people who are unfairly judged as “chokers” or players that “can’t with the big one”. It’s not a horrible thing to lose to a team that is better than you (like the Patriots over the last few years), especially if nobody else can beat them.

Anyway, that is my conversion story from Peyton Manning hater to Peyton Manning crusher.

wanna get away?

January 19, 2007 at 5:59 am | Posted in aaron d.w., fespn, football (american) | 1 Comment

on the subject of fespn-ing, i’d like to talk about sportscenter. just like trying to get through an andy nesbitt article or listening to espn radio, every time i watch sportscenter i have to keep a throw-up bucket close by. last night was no exception. the good news is that i’m losing weight. the bad news is that last night i had to listen to john anderson say this (and even though i’m paraphrasing, i’ll use quotes):

nice smile, idiot“the guys who play for marty schottenheimer want him to stay, but the guys who pay for marty schottenheimer are the ones who get to make the decision. the difference between play and pay is an L. as in the L they suffered last sunday against the patriots.”

real cute, john. i wonder if he came up with that himself. and if he didn’t, i don’t know how he could read that off a teleprompter without being in one of those southwest commercials. like if i had to read that out loud on national television i would want to get away on one of their low-fares to dying. they make fun of t.o. for being depressed and maybe trying to commit suicide when they’re the ones with real reason to want to. do you think they watch tape of themselves the next day before filming the next episode? like they make notes on what worked and what didn’t and then try to make airtime adjustments? unfortunately, i don’t think they realize that nothing they say ever works. instead, they pat each other on the back for being so clever and cute. they should be giving each other “favors” for being able to read that stuff on television without hating themselves. that’s the real miracle, isn’t it. maybe even a christmas miracle?

on the subject of the chargers, i’m sad they lost. clif called it. now i have to try to pick between the colts and the patriots. i hate how much everyone loves peyton, but he makes super-funny commercials. i hate how everyone always talks about the patriots ability to “just win games no matter who they put on the field,” but tom brady is pretty attractive. so it’s hard to pick. actually it’s easy. bob sanders is back and better than ever. bob sanders is probably the best safety ever (see you later, ronnie lott) and he’s pretty cool too. i think he’ll probably intercept tom brady during his patented 4th quarter rally and take it for a touchdown. but instead, since he’s cool, he’ll probably punt it through the uprights when he gets inside the 10 yard line, which isn’t worth any points in american football. last year i had bob sanders on my team in mine and brian’s madden 2006 dynasty. i moved him to line-backer (i like to play fast on defense) and he was so awesome. i think dungy should try it.

colts 23 – patriots 21

as for the nfc game, this is a hard one too. i love drew brees but i hate that they love reggie bush so much. i like him, but rookie of the year talk? are they joking? he had one good punt return and he started playing pretty well towards the end of the season (including a great game last week), but come on. his teammate colston broke the record for rookie receiving yards in a season. so… then i like the bears a lot. they have the coolest secondary around: vasher, hester (prynne), tillman (not pat), and ricky manning, jr (sir rick). but then they have urlacher. who is pretty good, but i don’t like him as a person or as a football player. but the bears were my fantasy defense, so i feel like we’re connected. i’m going to pick the saints.

saints 21 – bears 16

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