April 9, 2007 at 4:27 am | Posted in baseball, whitney | 1 Comment

Joe Blanton makes me want to barf, he’s so ugly. That’s why I bought a Red Sox hat.

Because when it comes to pitchers…..DICE-KKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! There is nothing cooler in baseball than the gyroball (this year). Here are some other things that are cool about Matsuzaka:
1. Not fat.
2. Pretty good looking. He doesn’t have any questionable facial hair…
… approachable hair cut and muscle size, nice smile. There seems to be something very classic about him, despite the fact that he’s so unclassic (doesn’t even speach English, bless his heart).
3. Got me on the six o’clock news in Boston on Wednesday. (Just a flash of my mom and I in the sports bar, but considering how often I’m in sports bars and how often I get on the news in a sports bar, I’m batting like… .789 … or something.)

So, he had a pretty great start (as I so enthusiastically cheered for Japanese television.) walking only one player and giving up six hits. Not bad for a debut…and, yeah, the thing has maybe been hyped a little too much. Maybe his gyroball really is his totally awesome changeup, but isn’t the fact that Matsuzaka just goes on letting people believe he has the ability to throw an entirely new pitch (after about 131 years of the sport) kind of funny anyway? It makes me like him more, trying to fool all these overally excited Americans.

Still don’t know anything about baseball. Only know that the A’s are mostly overweight and Dice-K is fully sweet.


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  1. he also takes off his hat (literally) to any player he accidentally hits with a pitch.

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