write it on a postcard

August 1, 2007 at 12:52 am | Posted in brian, football (soccer) | 3 Comments

i once wrote a blog about hating the boring cheers at rsl soccer games, but i’ll tell you what rsl game feature i hate more: leo the lion. to be clear, i don’t hate the person behind the mascot, i just hate the persona. i mean, i already paid money to come watch a soccer game (except saturday i actually had free tickets thanks to kristen) so i don’t see why this guy has to run around in a lion suit accusing me of not cheering loud enough.

here you can find info about leo the lion who’s actual name is leonardo the lion. this name beat out names like richard s. lionheart (which i kind of like), great heart, lumumba, ole and kingsley (which, according to the montana state alumni association is actually my middle name; they even sent me address labels with my correct address and my new middle name). leo was born at arches national park and, since his name is leonardo, he’s a painter (but i couldn’t find any of his artwork online).

but here’s what the bio doesn’t tell you: leonarndo the lion is probably racist. during the halftime events (which haven’t evolved at all since last year), leo openly sabotaged the only hispanic kid competing. clif, who was sitting next to me, can confirm that leo made it impossible for the only non-white kid competing to win a giant bucket of kfc chicken.

and one time leo tried to fight my brother. last year we were at an rsl game and ended up sitting in the front row (since you can pretty much sit wherever you want at rsl games). in the second half, leo walked along the sideline in front of us trying to get us to cheer loud enough for a free t-shirt brought to us by zion’s bank. aaron yelled to leo, “you’re a disgrace to the lion family.” leo heard aaron and pointed at aaron while showing his teeth. aaron pointed right back while showing his teeth. the two of them exchanged finger points and teeth showing for at least an entire minute. it was a tense situation, but there was no real threat of violence. it was one of those status show downs which determine place within the pride where both parties understand that a real physical encounter would only leave both weak and vulnerable to the rest of the lions in the pride. we’ve all seen them on nature shows, but to see one out in the wild is truly remarkable.

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  1. and who walked away? you forgot to tell them that part.

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