Fantasy Sports for the Non-Sports-Enthusiast

August 7, 2007 at 2:57 pm | Posted in football (soccer), whitney | 3 Comments

My interest in real life sports was only developed fairly recently (directly coresponding to the creation of this blog probably), but my interest in fantasy sports has been around for a while. This season marks my first attempt to actually play fantasy soccer (football, futbol, the game of kings).

The most appealing part of playing fantasy sports to me is naming my team, because who doesn’t like to name things? I’ve got pets: Boris the Russian Dwarf Hampster, Fanny the Fish, and Jamocha Ali the Pug (hypothetical). Then there is the naming of future children: Little William Oliver and Cedar Lee Borup. And, of course, all of my inanimate possessions: Susan the Plant, Carl the Bear, and Billie Joe the Guitar (settle down, I was 14). I’m not especially happy with my fantasy soccer name (were I to start over, I would call them the Jamocha Alis), but at least minutes of joy/anxiety were put into deciding if Peaches was better than the Freedom Fighters (Freedom Fighters has probably been done a billion times…).

Then you get to design your own uniforms. While this is far less exciting than you might think, owing to the limitations on design (petition for uploading pictures of your own designs?), I think I ended up with a pretty good color scheme. At least everyone agrees that they’re way hip except this guy whose similarities in uniform choice might spark a feeling of jealous competition.

Picking your players is obviously the most challenging aspect of fantasy sports for the non-sports-enthusiast. I went through a variety of ways of picking and organizing my team. First, I went with names of people I’ve heard ranted and raved about on here and who I’ve actually seen play. This is how Drogba became my star forward. Next I went with names. Like, Tugay’s name was too good not to be on a team called Peaches sporting lavender outfits. Or Clichy is the name of my favorite metro stop in Paris (cocaine!). From there I went with hair. Most of the players on my team have really good hair:
Woodgate's Luscious Locks
When hair is becoming scarce, I go for foreign names and handsomeness:
Gilberto
(Gilberto has it all)

We’ll see how the team does come August 11th. To keep morale high, my current motto is “never say die” or, also: “never trade a team member.” I feel like this is a sign of a decent manager. Also, trading around and keeping track of fantasy rules seems boring. The best part is over, now I get to sit back and let my passive-competitive nature kick in.

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3 Comments »

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  1. i think you can still change your team name, if you want to.

  2. Done. Thanks Brian.

  3. very funny posts. we need passive participants like you in fantasy sports leagues!


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