can’t get laid ’cause everyone is dead

August 22, 2007 at 1:47 am | Posted in brian, fespn, tennis | 1 Comment

i can’t find anything online to back me up which means i may have dreamed this, but i swear this happned when i turned sportscenter on the other night:

that one sportscaster — the giant with glasses who looks normal because he’s sitting next to an alien — started talking about federer’s latest win. federer now has 50 wins and he’s only 26. to put this in perspective, glassy told me that at age 26 mozart had written 30 or so symphonies, edison had like 40 pattents, and john wayne and/or john ford had made 30 movies but none of them in color and stagecoach was still to come. and, of course, he mentioned how many wins roger’s best-friend tiger woods had at age 26.

so what was glassy saying about federer? that he’s going to die in a couple years playing the best tennis match in the history of the world? that he’s going to start patening his backhand slice? that he’ll become a nostalgic pop icon so loaded with possible meanings that no one will know what you’re talking about when you name-check federer?

here’s the funny part, roger federer is the fifth youngest tennis layer to record 50 wins. bjorn borg did it when he was 23. so who do you compare him to?

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  1. I don’t have much to add except to say that this post was very funny. Like, I LOLed my AO.

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