which settlers occupied their territory

January 31, 2008 at 7:59 am | Posted in brian, football (american) | Leave a comment

just keep this in mind while you’re watching the superbowl halftime show this year. with bridgestone/firestone facing numerous legal problems, strikes, unfit working conditions and the like, it’s no wonder they spent millions sponsoring halftime. but i don’t mean to call out just bridgestone/firestone. i’m sure most of the companies paying for superbowl advertisements are equally as reprehensible.

and i kind of wish our blog was more like theirs. well not really like theirs, but we probably need to up our obsessing over hunky athletes.

it is annoying, all those bounces of the ball

January 28, 2008 at 6:01 am | Posted in brian, tennis | Leave a comment

that’s what the old-man commentator said while djokovic was serving during the tiebreak in the fourth set up 2 sets to 1 over tsonga in the finals of the austalian open. earlier he said something about how the europeans and eastern-europeans have dominated this grand slam. i thought the cold war was over.

but all the commentators spent most the match comparing tsonga to ali because they look alike.

we guarantee that tsonga will one day become president of france, barring an assassination. we also guarantee that djokovic and sharapova are now an item. isn’t it cute how they both won the austalian open?

“i think by that time, i hope that i will have a nice husband and a few kids” is what sharapova said when asked if she’d still be playing ten years from now. 

i forgot a title

January 26, 2008 at 4:24 am | Posted in basketball, brian | Leave a comment

here’s another email i sent during a jazz game that booner and boller never read:

dear booner and boller,
why do they have to bounce the ball?
trent trout, salt lake city
p.s. i’m twelve

instead they answered some dumb question about shoe-size or how you calculate free-throw percentage. what do you gotta do to get your email read on tv? i thought the twelve year old line would work, but i guess not. i’m positive that they don’t even check the emails people send in and just make up whatever they want. bullshit.

it’s nice to see you again

January 21, 2008 at 7:36 am | Posted in basketball, becky | 4 Comments

so, i went to the jazz game friday night. my company has a suite at the ESA and somehow i got two tickets for the game against the clippers. it was pretty fun. the game didn’t end up being too exciting, right? i mean the jazz won by like 20 points. i just looked. they won by 18.

i’ll be honest, this is like the first jazz game i’ve seen all season. i heard about their horrible first part of the season, but that’s not why i haven’t watched games. i have no excuse. i think it’s time to get back into the jazz.

a few things about the night.

  • emily’s husband sang sweet child of mine and won $500. he was almost as good as axel rose. but less dreamy.
  • the suite: buffalo chicken sandwiches, jelly bellies, and the dessert cart.
  • the man sitting behind me had to explain to his date 5 times what the shot clock was. she may have been in her 50s, but i think it was her first encounter with basketball.
  • carlos boozer. i just really like his name. the most unfortunate name for the night? dickau. dick owe. owe my dick. dickau.
  • someone said fesenko looks like ashton kutcher.


maybe, but i think it’s mostly the hair throwing you off. i mean, check out this picture.


doesn’t he look kinda more like seung-hui cho? the slayer of virginia tech students and faculty?

  • while we’re on the subject, sam cassell looks like an alien. but apparently that is old news because when i did an image search on his name, this is like the 3rd picture that came up

  • anyway, john malkovich was at the game, and he’s pretty cool. so i guess it was a good night.

it was with these feelings that i began the creation of a human being

January 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm | Posted in basketball, brian, tennis | Leave a comment

for any of you that haven’t seen these, look here and here for some great photos of the utah jazz’s new years eve party (which i found courtesy of freedarko).

january is the worst month of the year.   it’s cold, dry and depressing.  how can i write about sports or even leave my house?  and watching the australian open makes things worse.  it’s like 90 degrees over there (or whatever the equivalent of 90 degrees f is over there since they’re all metric).  but it looks like nike hasn’t even tinkered with there tennis line.  it’ll be another year of every other player wearing the exact same outfit.  except for sharapova who wears a radically different dress every match.  if i was nadal, i’d be demanding a similar deal with nike.  it’s ridiculous that the number 2 men’s tennis player in the world has to order his tennis outfits online and only gets to choose between two color schemes like every other idiot.  andy murray loses in the first round.  it’s sad because his hair is getting long and he’s not wearing the same clothes as everyone else.

better than a win

January 7, 2008 at 2:12 am | Posted in aaron d.w., basketball, tennis | 1 Comment

last night ben wallace went 1-6 from the free throw line, 0-3 from the floor and won the game for the bulls 94-93.  he got fouled with the score tied and with like 30 seconds or something left and made one his two free throws to take the lead.  then on the next play he blocked brad miller’s shot and the game was over.  so the piece i read was talking about how the block wasn’t surprising but the free throw was.  after all, ben wallace is a 4-time defensive player of the year and a career 41.9% free throw shooter.  apparently he airballed one of his free throws.  but if he’s a 41.9% free throw shooter, then it shouldn’t be surprising if he makes 41.9% of his free throws.  that’s to be expected right?  so i’m more surprised that he missed 5 free throws.  i would have expected him to make 2 or even 3 of his free throws.  so i guess making only 1 free throw is surprising, but not in the way that andrew seligman means.  wallace.jpgi like what ben wallace said about it best.  “i already had some practice shots, so i needed to make one.  the laws of physics, eventually one is going in.”  at first i thought that he actually meant the law of expected values in probability.  but i recently read fabric of the cosmos by brian greene and so i think about physics a lot more now.  in a quantum mechanics kind of way, ben wallace is right.  when he shoots his free throws, there’s a 41.9% chance that the electrons, quarks, taus, neutrinos, photons, higgs bosons, W and Z bosons, and muons (and possibly gravitons) will all align or move in such a way that he’ll make his free throw.  not a great probability, i admit.  but the point is that it will happen sometimes.  and most likely it’ll happen more than 1 out of 6 times.  in addition, it’s impossible for ben to really predict the effects of all of the observing (photons from the stadium lights and cameras, sound waves from the crowd, other electromagnetic waves in the arena, the higgs field, people watching) that is happening at a basketball game.  so it’s kind of out of his hands whether his free throws go in or out.  but he tries his best.  i’m just glad he understands that he can only determine the probability that the situation will occur in such a way that he makes his free throws. that he gets it is way more important than winning that game.
rafael nadal lost to mikhail youzhny in the chennai final.  people are wondering about his fitness level (he played like a 4 hour match less than 24 hours before the final), but i’m wondering how long he’s going to keep his sweet beard.nadal.jpg

the soul is the prison of the body

January 5, 2008 at 12:09 am | Posted in basketball, brian | Leave a comment

a phone-call from an old friend and i’m off the the jazz game. and perfect timing. i’d been working out a post in my head about the giricek (and future first round pick) for korver trade ever since korver’s first game in a jazz uniform (which was monday) and now i’m going to a game between the two teams involved in the trade.

parking was a nightmare. we opted for the gateway. did you know there’s an urban outfitters at the gateway now?

back to the trade and it’s repercussions: i can’t believe the jazz didn’t trade for this guy years ago. korver’s exactly the kind of player the jazz want: a great out-side shooter who isn’t a liability on defense, deceptively physical and white. and he’s almost exactly the kind of player jazz fans want on the jazz: he drains threes, is a white american and he’s handsome. the only negatives for jazz fans is his long hair and the fact that he’s not married, but those are both changeable qualities and ones that can be overlooked as long as he’s hitting threes.

when he checked in monday night, it was like a dream. the jazz are struggling against the trailblazers (who have won twelve or thirteen in a row) with lamarcus aldridge going crazy. i mean, he’s not missing. part way into the second quarter, korver makes his first appearance to a near standing ovation. he hasn’t even played a second as a jazzman and i would guess that most of the people at the nuclear fallout arena had no idea he existed prior to the trade and he enters the game to a deafening applause. once in the game, he nails a couple threes and plays some solid defense. more importantly, the entire jazz team plays better. they go on to win, which isn’t something they’ve been doing a lot of lately. now korver is every jazz fan’s favorite from fourteen year-old girls to hipsters who watch basketball ironically to ron boone, thurl bailey and craig bolerjack.

now it’s wednesday night and we arrive just after tip-off. but the story line tonight isn’t korver and his three-pointers but gordon giricek. giricek had been on the jazz for a couple of years, was a decent (but inconsistent) role player who helped the jazz to the conference finals last year. giricek and sloan never got along, but i don’t think very many people get along with sloan. so what happens when he enters the game? he gets booed. not just booed, he gets booed substantially more than korver gets cheered. every time giricek even touched the ball, the boos rained down. even these ten year-old girls in breast-cancer-pink boozer jerseys who sat two rows behind me joined in the boos even going as far as chanting giricek sucks for while he attempted free-throws. (i admit that this was pretty funny.) i couldn’t believe it, everyone hated giricek. i mean hated him. and why? because he got in a couple arguments with sloan? because he was a streaky shooter who sometimes slacked a little defense? because the jazz where able to trade him for korver (a player who will make the jazz better)?

fight thought the jazz should have put together a little highlight reel of giricek’s best jazz moments. kind of a little thanks for the memories kind of thing. that would have been nice.

oh yeah. and even okur hates giricek. in the fourth quarter, gordon has a fast break lay-up to the ground and memo slams him to the ground and then stands over him and stares him down. but i heard that giricek is just going to play out this year with the sixers and then finish his career in one of the european leagues. and good for him, the nba is bs.

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