why are there flowers everywhere?

October 10, 2008 at 5:05 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

i watched the heat/nets preseason game.  played in paris.  paris, france.

devin harris is awesome.  douglas-roberts had a nice stretch in where he made 3 consecutive floaters.  beasely played well but the commentators couldn’t help but critizie him the entire game.  shit like he’s immature, he has character issues, he’s a disruptive presence in the locker room and he doesnt have the basketball iq to be a star.  why is everyone at espn hating on beasely?

when tim legler — the color analyst for the game — wasn’t trying to convince viewers to hate beasely, he was talking about himself.  it was when i injured my knee this and when i played in europe that.  and he doesn’t let his kid watch shawn marion because his jump shot form is so unusual.  even though marion is a solid shooter.  what is the deal with the myth that there is only one correct way to play basketball.  (maybe this has to do with that basketball iq.)  i mean reggie miller, arguably one of the best shooters in nba history, had an unorthodox shot.

and are they serious about adam jones?  he got in a small fight with his bodyguard and he needs to get suspended for that?  that’s the nfl’s most pressing issue?  and matt jones doesn’t even get suspended for having 6 grams of coke?  and this is espn’s lead story going in to sportscenter?  the bodyguard isn’t going to press charges and the cops said the incident doesn’t even warrant a report and the nfl is going to investigate it?

i keep forgetting

September 12, 2008 at 7:04 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

sep 5

i’m watching college football.  ecu is beating west virginia 24 to 3 which, i hear, the people of greenville really needed given the hurricane that just passed through town.  you probably saw it on the tv.  the hurricane, i mean.  hurricane gustav.

previewing tim tebow

this is what i learned:

not only is he the first sophomore to win the heisman trophy, not only is he the first player to score 20 plus touchdowns running and passing in a single season, not only is he the first player to have at least 1 rushing and 1 passing touchdown in 14 consecutive games, not only is he a phenomenal athlete, but he’s a remarkable human being as well.

here’s the proof the tv gave me:

when other guys are going to exotic locals on spring-break, tebow is off to the philipines (which, i guess, isn’t exotic) on a mission with his dad to build hospitals.  (tebow;s a christian, right?)  oh.  also, he refused to be featured in playboy magazine.  they were doing some article about possible preseason heisman canidates.  and tebow refused.

back to the game

there are all these rules in college football.  like you can’t celebrate.  ever.  and they changed the time-keeping rules.  to make it harder for comebacks.  to keep the games shorter.  to give us something to talk about.

check out the ecu coach’s sunglasses.

now it’s the post-game

i dont get the set design.  there’s too much information.  that guy’s tie matches the computer-chip background.  there’s always information scrolling along the bottom and down the side and in the background.  and it’s all the same stuff.  repeated over and over and over. they’re talking about the byu/washington game. some guy on washington scored a touchdown with 2 seconds left to cut the lead to 1. but he was flagged for excessive celebration. 15 yard penalty. then the extra point is blocked. washington loses by 1.

quotes from the post-game

-a pac-ten (officiating) crew who threw the flag on a pac-ten team!  ( he seemed suprised by this.)

-what do you think?
-i think it was a strike out . . . the officials should never decide the game!
-that was a travesty of justice! that wasn’t celebration; that was joy!

(there’s a lot of exclaiming)

-a point of emphasis.

-a sever tactical error.


September 3, 2008 at 3:04 am | Posted in blood, college football, fight, murder, tennis, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

if you didn’t get a great big sports boner (girls included) this weekend then you missed out on pure pleasure. the spanish karate kid (nadal) wasted everybody in tennis. and tennis was awesome. somehow i don’t think the us open will have as much of an emotional effect on me as wimbledon did (it was probably the most fulfilling emotional experience of my life) but you never know. it’s amazing that there are actually some american men in the next round. which is good because that means they’ll show mens tennis over the williams sisters. i was getting tired of watching women play (sorry), except that there are some major babes this year. remember the final is next sunday. moving on to college football. the university of utah is awesome! they beat michigan. michigan! in michigan. awesome. i noticed the nationally televised game had a lot of praise for utah. it seems utah and byu will probably be the best non major conference teams this year, which may mean nothing. but it could mean…something. and their (hopefully) perfect seasons up until they meet at the end of the season will be memorable. maybe. seems like they both play some weak teams. and now the best part about sports….DVRs! that’s right. and HD. wow. sports look so cool. and i am writing about it. oh:

“stop copying us.” i hate that i put a commercial on here. but i told brian i would blog about it. kill me.

Beekeepers 2008

August 11, 2008 at 6:58 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments
Tags: ,


This guy slaughter-ruled us. What?!@??@#?$

This guy slaughter-ruled us. What?!@??@#?$

rex chapman for prez

July 2, 2008 at 10:24 pm | Posted in aaron d.w., basketball, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

so it’s an election year and i’ve been thinking about who i should vote for. it’s a really tough decision every time, since i don’t believe in voting, and this year is no different. i’m supposed to be in love with barack obama because i’m a male in my 20’s and he’s supposedly a hip, young, and cool advocate for social change. but i’m not. i mean, obama did play basketball in high school, and i’m a basketball fan. but big deal. the best basketball player i’ve ever personally known named brandon didn’t play basketball in high school, and i don’t think i’d vote for him for president. on the other hand, john mccain is a war vet, just like the sports specter pat tillman. unfortunately for mccain, i don’t believe in war or vets or ghosts. i can vote for nader again, and everyone can just tell me again that it’s a wasted vote. but then brian said that if he gets 5% of the populace vote that he’ll receive federal funding next election. plus, ralph nader founded the league of fans, which is an organization that fights for the rights of sports spectators. (in 2002, nader wrote a letter to david stern addressing the lopsided calling of fouls in that lakers-sacramento game that’s making news again with tim donaghy. for a recent article on nader as a sports fan, click here.) the decision of who to vote for became even harder for me when i realized that i could write in shaq.

as far as i know, shaquille o’neal is not planning on going into politics. he wants to be a police officer or deputy or detective or something. he has a master’s in criminal justice (he brings law and order to the court), so he’s more suited for a run in the judicial system. (actually, his master’s is in business administration.) so he’s not making a push for the presidency this year. but shaq has a charismatic public personality. during interviews he’s always cracking jokes and wearing (top) hats. both things that make you think, “if only he were running for president.” he’s been a consistent figure in public service over the last few years. when he got to miami, he became a u.s. deputy marshal. “I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere.” it wasn’t his fault, but he was on the team that served a child porn warrant to the wrong house. and i guess he was also accused of using excessive physical force in questioning a suspect. as a volunteer. but if the miami police department can forgive him, so can i. so then he got traded to the suns. and became a volunteer for the police department out there. nothing scandalous, just good old fashioned volunteer law enforcement. these are the kinds of things that were making me lean towards voting for shaq.

well, up until he got his phoenix volunteer badge and his two miami deputy badges revoked. for swearing. and making fun of kobe. in a free-style rap in new york. a video of the rap showed up on tmz. and now beford says they want their badges back. so where does that leave me? not voting for shaq, that’s for sure. i was going to write him in. i really was. i was telling everyone. but then he swore. and i don’t condone snap judgements, but swearers don’t make good presidents. shaq is going to have to do a lot of good p.r. work in order to get back in the good graces of the american voting public.

so now i’m probably back to voting for nader. but i’m still open to suggestions. especially since rex chapman hasn’t officially withdrawn from his presidential candidacy. by which i mean that he hasn’t said that people shouldn’t write him in. which is a viable option, considering he made this shot once:

so obama better watch out. i bet he’s never made a buzzer beater.

christmas is sick

June 14, 2008 at 6:30 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

i should have been writing about this for the past two months.

i’m on a softball team.  actually, a number of (past) contributors of this blog are on a softball team.  we’re called the beekeepers.  and we’ve lost every game but our first.

monday nights game was pretty eventful.  we lost by like twenty.  aaron suffered a concussion trying to make this diving catch.  actually it wasn’t a diving catch.  here’s how it went down.  aaron’s at shortstop.  the batter bloops one into shallow left field.  aaron races after the ball, jumps to catch the ball but it’s barely out of his reach.  then he lands on his back and smashes his head into the ground.  then he just lays there unresponsive.  then he got up and walked it off.  the next play a grounder comes right for him.  he fields the ball and makes the throw to first except that the ball slips out of his hand during the throw.  probably a result of his concussion.  earlier dusty slid into home plate.  safe!  now he has a scar on his leg.  one of my at bats i hit the ball 5 feet.  i swung as hard as i could and only hit the ball five feet.  but i beat the throw for a base hit.

it was a good game.

You’re a Champion, Brother!

February 5, 2008 at 1:42 am | Posted in misc, Uncategorized, whitney | Leave a comment

I agree with Brian: more hunks! Which is why I have been tuning in every week to this little retro gem:american gladiators (Ok, so these aren’t the <i>actual</i> gladiators that I’ve been watching, but after minutes of a really depressing scan through google images, I decided this is close enough.  Trust me, you get the general idea) This new season of American Gladiators comes on just before this great new game show about ruining lives with lie-detector tests that I watch obsessively and immorally. Finally, the corporate giants of NBC recognized the lack of jobs for female body builders (the dudes can go into politics, so how’s that fair?) and brought back everyone’s favorite Nerf-based obstacle show. Writer’s strike, Shmiter’s strike. The Gladiators will not be stopped!  Hosted by everyone’s favorite brother, Hulk Hogan, and some other lady, American Gladiators continues to dazzle and amaze 20-somethings with feats of conveyor belt running, tennis ball dodging, and fire swimming .wolf This guy likes to sniff his competetors. That’s his thing because he’s called “The Wolf.” Also, he howls. crush And this is the one my boyfriend loves. I think it’s the asymmetrical hair and husky voice. Plus, her name’s Crush, so she kind of demands it.  Helga kind of looks like this: helga  And as one lovely and articulate comment pointed out: “she is one nasty lookin girl, i wouldnt hit it with a dump truck” To which a delightful fan responded: “hey these women are hott and very sexy but they are tough athletes that hold the true name of american gladiators…for those of you that say she’s big..hell ya she is Bet she could whoop your ***! She is solid woman baby!” So, as you can see, tensions run high on the Helga message board. To solve the controversy I will point out that one time she was yanked off a platform backwards into the water and we saw her Swedish underpants. So, clearly, she’s awesome and sexy and I would hit it. With a golf cart, even.

That’s what I get

October 11, 2007 at 10:55 pm | Posted in clif, football (american), Uncategorized | 1 Comment


Through some sort of mind control – or, more sinsterly, the allure of fantasy points – I let slip my life-long disdain for the Dallas Cowboys this season. I’ve hated the Cowboys for as long as I can remember, and I had hated Tony Romo (thanks to the help of a faux Drew Bledsoe and his delightful blog) since he took the helm as their starting quarterback.

But when Mr. Underwood fell to me in the ninth round of the draft, it made perfect business sense to pick him, despite the protests of my heart. “I can have him on my team and still hate him,” I told myself, “No problem.”

But the folks at Cosmo were right: success is sexy.

That magnificent bastard started racking up points and my heart melted. I found myself swooning at his ample stats and saliviting at the sight of his oh-so-easy weekly matchups. I even found pleasure in seeing the Cowboys win; something I’d never done before. So, when I found myself down by 40-some points this week I couldn’t help but smile, for I still had my gallant gun-slinger and his trusty receiver on my bench. Forty points? A trifle.

I won’t recap last night’s game, but I will tell you this: with every Romo turnover, he removed a piece from the base of the Jenga tower of trust that we, together, had built. All that’s left now is dissappointed rubble further weighing down the loathing I had felt for so long.

So, I’d just like to say, thank you for the valuable lesson, Cowboys and R(H)omo, and go screw yourselves.

Peace, Love, and BASEBALL!

April 25, 2007 at 8:44 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

A while back I heard Alyssa Milano has a baseball blog.  Because it was about the Dodgers, I wasn’t all that interested.  Then a few days ago I read a post from a good friend of mine talking about it and said she was going to follow it carefully.  I then thought..hm, maybe I should check it out.  Despite every other picture being of AM, I found myself being charmed and well, she’s a chick that truly loves the game.  I can totally relate.  When she writes, ”

Honestly, this is what I love about baseball. It’s just like life. The ride. The journey. Every year when the season starts, I think I have a pretty good idea of how the season is going to go. Oh, I think I’m such an expert — I read every magazine, I read MLB.com everyday (OK, maybe four or five times a day), I watch the Spring Training games. And yet despite all the preparation, I realize I simply have no idea what twists or turns the season will take. As much as I try to peer into the future, the future is unpredictable. A ball bounces under a player’s legs, and the Red Sox lose their lead and the World Series. A fan interferes with a ball, and the Cubs lose their lead, and the playoff series. A-Rod finally silences the boo’s and steps up to the plate. That’s baseball. In life, we have our own rhythms, our own ups and downs, our own teammates, and all we can do is hold on and prepare for the challenges along the journey.


First of all, if I were actually attached to every pitcher the press has attached me to, I would be in a hospital or mental ward somewhere — in a straightjacket (that I would of course desperately try to make stylish).

 So, now I’m contemplating adding this to my bloglines and wishing she were a yankees fan. 


Church of Baseball

April 1, 2007 at 10:47 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

So, I’m late in the game this year (since the season starts tomorrow), but I decided tonight to go ahead and do a fantasy baseball league this year, and who ever reads this post is invited.

If you’d like to play the ID# is 295769 and the password is cherryblossom


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